Written by Lessons on Coping with Stress and Finding Balance
Recently, I had a mentoring conversation with a young Vice President from a leading multinational bank in Europe. An engineer by background and an AI specialist by profession, he had just been promoted to the role of CTO — a remarkable achievement, especially considering he’s not yet 30 and has just entered a new phase in his personal life after marriage.
However, beneath the success lay a concern that many high-performing professionals can relate to — stress. He confessed that he was struggling to balance his professional and personal life. Work seemed to follow him home. The weight of responsibilities, expectations, and new challenges left him restless and anxious.
He sought my advice: “How do I cope with this?”
Understanding the Difference Between Ideal and Real
I told him, “First and foremost, we must recognize the difference between the ideal and the real.”
Yes, ideally, we should be able to separate our professional and personal lives — leaving work at work and enjoying peace at home. But in reality, few people manage this seamlessly, especially in leadership roles where the mind rarely switches off.
There is no switch in the human brain that turns off “work mode” at 6 PM and turns on “home mode.” Leaders, innovators, and professionals driven by purpose often find their minds constantly engaged — processing, planning, and problem-solving.
As the saying goes, “What cannot be cured must be endured.” But endurance alone is not the goal — mastery is.
It’s not the absence of stress but the conquest of stress that differentiates an ordinary person from a successful one.
At This Stage of His Career
I also reminded him that at this stage of his career — having grown very rapidly within the organization — he should not crib or complain about stress or overload. Rapid growth comes with responsibility and expectations. The organization has trusted him with a senior role not just for his technical expertise but also for his ability to handle complexity, pressure, and people.
Leadership and growth always come with a price. The key is to build the emotional and mental stamina to carry that load gracefully, rather than resent it.
However, at this stage in his life, it’s equally important to acknowledge the new responsibilities and relationships that marriage brings. Spending time with one’s spouse is essential — but it’s important to understand that quality matters more than quantity.
Time spent together should not be measured merely in hours and minutes, but in meaning, connection, and joy. Even short moments of genuine engagement — a walk together, an evening chat, a shared meal — can strengthen the bond far more than hours spent distracted or stressed.
It’s also vital to apply the same principles of teamwork and balance at home. Just as one builds a strong team at work, one must build a strong partnership at home. Sharing household responsibilities, discussing mutual expectations, and working as a team reduces friction and strengthens understanding.
Where possible, especially in demanding careers, it may make sense to seek household help or a maid to manage routine chores — if that is feasible and culturally acceptable. Delegating domestic tasks can free up valuable time and energy for what truly matters — nurturing relationships, self-care, and meaningful rest.
Coping with Stress — The Practical Way
Here are the three principles I shared with him to manage stress constructively and lead more effectively.
1. Master Time Management
Time is the one resource we cannot replenish. Managing time effectively means learning to manage your energy, your focus, and your priorities.
Use tools that help you structure your day — whether digital calendars, time-blocking, or even old-fashioned lists. Break your day into high-focus, medium-focus, and low-focus periods.
Remember the advice from Stephen Covey in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:
“The key is not to prioritize what’s on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.”
When you control your time, you control your stress.
2. Prioritize What Truly Matters
Apply the Pareto Principle — the 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of your outcomes come from twenty percent of your efforts.
Not every task on your plate deserves equal attention. Classify your work into three categories:
- A tasks: Strategic and high-impact — these require your focus.
- B tasks: Important but can be delegated with oversight.
- C tasks: Routine or operational — best delegated entirely.
Focus your energy on the A tasks — where your unique expertise adds the most value. Empower your team to handle the rest.
As Warren Buffett once said:
“The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”
Learning to say “no” or “not now” is not weakness — it’s wisdom.
3. Delegate and Develop Your Team
Delegation is not dumping work — it’s developing leaders. Build and nurture a strong, capable team. Invest in their growth, involve them in decision-making, and trust them with responsibility.
Expose your team members to senior leaders and stakeholders. Let them earn credibility and confidence. Encourage them to solve problems rather than escalate every issue.
When your team grows, you grow — not by doing more, but by enabling more.
Jack Welch, the former CEO of GE, put it beautifully:
“Before you are a leader, success is all about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.”
Delegation frees you from the tactical and operational, allowing you to focus on the strategic and visionary aspects of leadership — the very things you were promoted for.
4. Embrace Stress — Don’t Escape It
Finally, we must stop treating stress as the enemy. Stress is not always harmful; it’s a signal — that we care, that we’re growing, that we’re stretching our limits.
The goal isn’t to eliminate stress but to build resilience. Meditation, physical fitness, quality time with loved ones, and hobbies can all help rebalance the mind.
As Viktor Frankl, the Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist, once wrote:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
The more we expand that space — through awareness, reflection, and self-care — the better we cope with stress and turn it into strength.
From Work–Life Balance to Work–Life Integration
In today’s dynamic, hyper-connected world, the idea of work–life balance — as if work and life exist on opposite sides of a weighing scale — is giving way to a more sustainable model: work–life integration.
It’s not about drawing rigid boundaries but creating harmony between the two. Your work should energize your life, and your life should enrich your work.
Balance is not achieved by separation but by alignment — when what you do at work and what you value in life are consistent with each other.
In Conclusion
Leadership is not about living a stress-free life — it’s about thriving in spite of stress. It’s about learning to dance with pressure, not run from it.
To every young leader stepping into bigger shoes — remember this: Success is not just about mastering technology, strategy, or numbers. It’s also about mastering yourself — your time, your energy, your relationships, and your response to life’s inevitable pressures.
The future belongs to those who can integrate work and life seamlessly — leading with purpose, living with balance, and finding joy in both.
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